I have to get this off my chest. Somone very dear to me, a deeply intelligent and warm person, doesn't want to continue living. She is not some attention seeking kid, nor is it a cry for help. At least not from where I stand, I could very well be mistaken, the will to live is one of the strongest forces in nature.
She passed out on her bathroom floor last night and when I woke her up she cried and said the most horrible things I have ever heard anyone utter. The darkness consumes you, it's so terrible. I have been around a lot of depression and sadness but this was something else. Here is a person that has come to the conclusion after a life of psychological pain that death is the best course of action. The endless rest.
Of course I went through the motions, comforting her, telling her all the things one would assume are the right things to say in a situation of this nature. But I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that what I was doing were pretty much an exercise in futility.
So here is my dilemma. I can cope with whatever she decides to do. It's a very likely scenario that she will refuse to see me now, at least for a while. I know she must be feeling pathetic and stupid, people usually do after being so vulnerable, especially when there is alcohol involved. I wouldn't be surprised if she was found dead on the floor tomorrow, in a pool of her own blood.
I must know, did I do all I could to help her? Is there always a way to help someone in this kind of distress or is it in some rare cases actually no way to intervein. Could it even be deemed unethical to say to someone that has decided, based on rationality and logic, that he or she wants to die. Who am I to judge her pain? Her perception of reality? Am I high and mighty for telling her that she is wrong. Remind her what will happen to the rest of the world if she leavs. Like she didn't already know?
Oh, think about your family and friends. Like she hasn't already a million times over. What is family and friends really worth if every day is a living hell and you cant appreciate any of it. I will cry for her if she leavs and I will probably always miss her but I would never judge her decision.
Thoughts? I rather not make this a general discussion on suicide. The focus is my dilemma and how I should handle the current situation. I can't really think about anything else. Gaming doesn't seem that important right now.
Edited by Leth4L at 17:31 CST, 23 February 2012 - 40820 Hits