Welcome to the first edition of Let Them Eat Quake awards. The awards have been established in order to honor the people who entertained us casual folk the most over the span of last year with their undying fakethusiasm and never ending shilling for Quake Champions. Some of them got paid to do it, others just did it out of their love for everything Quake related (i.e. zealots).
So how does this work? There are 4 nominees which go heads up against each other in a single elimination bracket. Your votes decide who qualifies to grand finals and eventually gets to take home the Tim Willits Trophy along with the ti
tle of the champion. Each nominee is represented by a quote of their ultimate shill moment which earned them the nomination. If you feel some quotes are left out undeservedly, please post them in comments. We can always update them for 3rd place & Grand Finals showdown.
Please, make sure you ba
se your vote on how much the quotes entertained you and not on how much you like/dislike the person in question.
Real name: Xavier Dorne
About: Zoot started casting Quake with Quake Live as a part of levelup crew but was infamously kicked from the crew due to unprofessional behavior. Since then he was dabbling on his own, started his Zlive stream and was basically the only caster in the community. As a sole guy providing coverage of Quake events he earned the undying gratitude of folks over at id software (people that would like us to think they're developing a Quake game) which in turn earned him free trips to QuakeCons. Unfortunately, when QC arrived, all these free trips started having a price. In order to maintain free flights across the Atlantic he had to sacrifice his integrity which came naturally to him. Fortunately for everyone else, this spawned a number of quotes to entertain us.
THE QUOTE: Next Quake patch scheduled for March is going to be all about polish and refinement. This is EXACTLY what I wanted to hear, really delighted about this.
Context: Game just witnessed the release of it's worst patch ever in December. Game breaking performance, buggy-beyond-belief CTF mode which was supposed to save Quake and it all reflected on pla
yer ba se dwindling down to the lowest point in months. The game screams for patch, but not zoot. He got paid and everything is gucci in Xav-ville.
Real name: Unknown
Occupation: Community manager
About: A long time Quake pla
yer, played Q3 in Britain's top team - unr`. With arrival of QL he slowly started rotating towards a management role, he was too good to keep on playing anyway. Be that as it may, he soon became a community manager and still occupies that role. For free. Tim Willits' promises of a paid position at id keeps the fire burning in him that he needs to constantly come up with creative ways to not just zealously defend Quake Champions, but to degrade Quake Live as well.
THE QUOTE: I go back to QL and just remember how much I can't stand how much worse the game of "guess where the hitbox of this pla
yer's ping" is in Quake Live. And on top of that for a laggy opponent the answer is nowhere.
Context: Not much to be said here, QC netcode might be shit but oh boy QL one is at least 10x worse. Can you imagine - in QL the rockets EXPLODE on contact with enemy as opposed to just going through the enemy model like in QC. I mean, what the fuck?
Real name: Remco
About: In his own words (twitch bio), a shitty hasbeen. Biggest achievements of his pro career were practicing with voO for CPL tournaments. Banked it all on QC being a success to try and get a whiff of that twitch pussy, but as things stand now to no avail. Emotionally invested in to Quake to the point of saying some ridiculous shit.
THE QUOTE: If I closed my eyes and if I go back to 1998 when I first started playing Quake 1 and Quake 2 (...) and you would tell that 13yo kid that 20 years later like you would give that kid a vision of Quake 20 years later and you'd show me this that's exactly what I want. It really fuckin is.
Context: Pretty self explanatory. If he closed his eyes and was high on mescaline, Quake Champions would be the perfect Quake game. Even in 1998.
Real name: Jason Kaplan
About: Not much is known about JKap pre-QC. He appeared during IEM Italy 2017 from Overwatch scene and apparently is here to stay because free trips and pocket money. Casted multiple Quake events, was equally clueless on each of them and shows no signs of improvement or stopping to this day. When he's not casting about how great Quake is, he's tweeting about it. It seems like the main prerequisite for becoming a caster in QC scene is the lack of integrity, bonus points if it runs in the family.
THE QUOTE: Wow this new Quake update makes me really want to grind a ton of Quake! Battlepass idea seems to have changed the game for the better.
Context: In the sea of cash store related patches this was the latest, id threw out loot boxes and introduced battle passes as means to acquire gear. No other changes were done, even if the patch log said they fixed stuff - they didn't as per usual. So the game's broken, leaking pla
yers left and right, only somewhat played team mode (2v2) got thrown out of the window, but Kaplan is excited because cash shop items are generally known to revolutionise not only the game in question, but whole genres even!
And this is the beautiful trophy our competitors will be fighting for. Credits for designing this beauty go entirely to Calderone.
Check out the brackets and vote for semifinal 1 and semifinal 2. Semifinal voting closes on Thursday, January 31st.
Edited by esdf at 12:41 CST, 27 January 2019 - 46220 Hits