Plato wasn't joking. This world is not real. Esreality is not real. It says 'real' in the middle, but the rest of it says es and ity. (c) ddk

I was going to start collecting things that retards in twitch chat say but my harddrive isn't big enough.

DogFace

No Space

SpaceDog

"Nice fail." (c) strenx

"Crouching Av3k, hidden k1llsen." (c) zoot

"THIS KIND OF STACK SHOULD BE ILLEGAL ON AEROWALK" - (c) DDK

"Hope has entered his eyes" - (c) Zoot

"DaHanG might have gotten that Mega, but he lost his dignity!"

He's coming, he can taste it in his mouth! (c) DDK

MAGICATE (c) ins

MENTALIZE (c) ins

Beat me to it.

"There's still time" (c) Zoot

:DD

"Make it all water under the bridge." (c) Tosspot

Maybe his legs are broken (c) ddk in reference to z4 missing easy jumps

"Knowing when to pull out is an important skill in life" ddk

"He's like: >>I'm gonna sit here and eat everything!<<" (c) ins
"Many players shitting in Clan Arena" (c) ins
"Nice little rocket" (c) ddk

aimo (c) ins
champion's mindset (c) DDK
engagement (c) DDK
CHANCE SAYS GOODNIGHT (c) DDK

creeping (c) DDK

decisions (c) DDK
be the shaft! (c) Zoot

"Or its Tough Titty for him" (c) Z00t

"That's what happens in Quake. You can't read your opponent, you die." (c) ddk

"Where the fuck are my pants?" (c) Me, after every FACEIT stream

in ddk's mouth ;)

He said pants, not parts.

uh man

What a fine artwork this is.

I do family pictures and wedding for moderate price. So you know.

My life feels complete right now.

this is solid

disturbingly accurate

LOL

He plays so damn well right now. (C) ins

BUT AT WHAT COST?? (c) ddk

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (c) cooller

And also "Pffffffffffff" and "Ehrmmmmm".

and who could forget "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" or "ohmagawd!"

His like a human rail gun (c) fridgey :DD

+ you very much

ps, did i say this in the instagib thingy at sydlan2? i cant remember! :D (i only remember typing s_volume 0.02 and then erasing the 0's ;D)

Plasma, with 20 damage per bullet, is the weapon with the higest damage output in the game (c) someone

everyone.

its like, you cant become a real ql caster, if you didnt say this at some point

BFG has more dps tho :>
yeye i know.. still its a "weapon in the game"

What about chaingun?

BFG: 333
PG: 200
CG: 160
LG: 140

Aw.
For some reason I was thinking CG have something like 300+ dmg/sec. :-(

Do I have a number in my name? (c) Zoot

"relagated to the back areas of the map"
fight where x hits decent LG, zoot scrambles for his +acc bind "it's only 30% but there's a lot of spam going on"
"clutch rail" "whiff the rail !" "doesn't crumble under pressure"
"he knows all the angles" "can't give an angle" "denying that angle"
"but STACKED is demon" "matrox is very considerate" "the tox spot"

explaining the cooller/ABC story to whoever is on the set

"pavel/cooller is very comfortable with a one frag lead"

and on and on and on...

"doing the jibo"

if you haven't heard that one, you've skipped every single bloodrun game on faceit

"SENSATIONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL" (c) best duel caster

that was awesome!

There's something similar during a t4 match from quakecon between fazz and avek but the VOD seems to be gone ;/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXBw4zCogLw

0:45 best "SENSATIONAL" in history

TOSSPOT <3<3<3

Except that it's from Cock Suckers: Global Offence.

nope, etqw

My bad, couldn't tell from the previous link.

ESC vs NiP wat

This is esports @ Joe during some shootmania presentation

"Man"

-Zoot

"You can't live on Rail alone." (c) Zoot

BIG ROCKET (c) Zoot

I remember saying "Cypher is pussying with his shaft" I meant to say pushing though.

detrimental (c) ischju

i dont say that anymore :D

:((

"great little rail"

(c) zoot

Holy poopnuggets

Spart1e, l1nkin, deus and stermy vs sparks, whaz, ?, ?

kgb, sparks, whaz, ffsmasher vs spart1e, linkje, stermy, deus

This is almost extremely risky (c) zoot

"Joko is killing the cl0ck" (c) ddk

Zoot said in WB finals when dahang was losing to rapha

"...and now Dahang has to fight the clock .."

too me a second to process what does cl0ck have to do with grand finals

WHAT? (c) ins

W-WHAT? (c) ins

W-WHAT WHAT? (c) ins

"DID YOU SEE THAT" - ins

"DID YOU SEE THIS" - ins

Sorry ins.

what is this?

he had no right to win that fight! -Ins

The shat. -Ins

And [Player] is hitting [number]% [weapon] right now!! -Ins after the first fight or the first 20 seconds of the game

"Australia.." (c) ins

"AAa-aArg! ... THE LAVA!!!'" (c) DjWheat

"HAROSH" - ash

Nearly every caster has said: "He's railable" during a DM13 match at some time or other...

OIY CUNT, FUCKING SEE THAT SICK MIDDIE CAM? IT WAS FUCKING SICK BRO, I LIKE HIT 4 DIRECT ROCKETS ON THE CUNT. - FraZe

so true haha

FraZe got a youtube channel or stream?

"He's railable but there is no rail!" (c) nvc

haha

"Agent probably lies drunken in some ditch right now" (c)ash

"It's like walking into the jaws of a lion right there and living" (c) ddk

Oh this is really limiting his options -ddk
He has a lot of options in this position -ddk
With this stack he has a lot of options -ddk

And whatnot -Rapha

But P0ni is fast! He has 4 legs, so... -Zoot

NOCTIS!!! NOT EVEN ON CAMERA! And ye, turn around, walk away. He's a badass -Jehar

RAPHA RIGHT NOW, WITH GRANADE LONCHER, SHOOTING DOWN, HE'S GOT GRANADES, OOHMYGAAAAAAWD HE'S GOT LG!! OOOooohh!!! He's doing stuff and... Things are dying! And it's CRAZEEEEE!!!! JUST CRAAAAAZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -2gd

....RAACKETS (c) Rapha

"he's probably feeling moderately indestructible" (c) zoot

great stuff (c) ddk

"OH MY GOODNESS" (c)ddk

Ah, the perks of being native English..

"The red armor is a death trap" (c) every caster (c) every map

X is stacked like a tank!

"Stacked to the tits" © Zoot & Ins

stop gay (c) zoot

guns (c) rapha

mini mega (c) nvc

i dont like this newschool playrs heff to learn to use more grened luncher and the shutgam (c) boomsi

XX seconds before quad (c) Dis

The cosmo not -DDK

lavalamp
Horseees...
HAH HAH AAAH -Dis <3

Cooller's dodge! -Everyone

but his dodge!

Cypher only has 23 lg bullets left (c) Twister

has ddk talked to twister about being on the same level as demon a few months ago but not being able to break through ?

OH GOD... OH GOD... THAT WAS HUGE
some casters are like porn stars

"Cypher is pussying with a shaft" (c) ischju

"WHAZZLE DAZZLE!"

"the gay keeper" (c) ddk&zoot

:( unfortunate spelling

"what the hell just happened" (c) Zoot

gets a bit annoying now :)

"He's the sort of player who" - DDK

Ins: What time is it?

Zoot: Its time for Quake

Ins: I played starcraft, i was like Platinum

Zoot: OMG can you sign my nipple



(c) Zoot n Ins

Did that actually happen?

Yes during the 1st groupstage of 125fps

How does he do that? (c) ins

Coollers American brother!

Ed Bassmaster :D Last one was the best.

pffffffffffffffff (c) Cooller's American Brother

ZoOt is the man

"This is so smart if it works" © Ins

Ash the Quake Jesus, walking on the slime - twister and ddk.

"Learn to timezone" (c) Zoot

"I don't understand this game." (c) ins (just remembered that one :D )

"The players don't actually see the item timers, they have to calculate everything in their head" (c) Ins, two thousand and fifty four times.

That one's from nvc, credit where credit's due.

pretty sure 2gd and joe used to say it too

nope, i noticed this feature first

This is actually a good thing to say, before I had really played quake and watched some tournaments I didn't know they had to time the armors on their own lol

"You gonna be on top of quake, you can't feel pressure" (c) zoot

"It doesn't matter, since he gets the mega. Now he get's the kill and it doesn't matter even less." (c) zoot

"great rockets from cypher", "OH MY GOD CYPHER'S rockets" (c) ddk

"ERMAGERD SOMUCH DAMAGE!!" (c) ddk+zoot about evil

"Oh boy" (c) czm

Grenades cascading down (c) ddk

Bottles flying (c) avek (nade spam)

RAPHA RIGHT NOW WIF GRENADE LAUNCHA SHOOTING DOWN, OH MY GOD HES GOD GRENADES OH MY GOD HES GOT LG! OHHH AND HES DOING STUFF AND.... THINGS ARE DYING....ITS CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYY, JUST CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY

(c) that dota guy

mega and red up at the same time (c) all

that railable threshold (c) everyone

"To me, it's like GEKKO is the ninja, but he's like a really shit ninja." (c) zoot

:'(

"I have no eyes."(c) ddk

"ok fuck totalbiscuit RAPHA NOW GOT LG IS SHOOTING DOWN GRENADES" (c) 2GD

" I have a rendez-vous" (c) zoto

"Come to me baby" (c) cooller

now he´s fucked up..uhh soz messed up look siz (c) strenx

he can hear his body screaming (c) zoto

"He's got it, it is in his palms, man, he's got it in reach. Another rail but he's missing everything and just making it all looks so.. shit." (c) zoot

of course (c) Joe Miller

"He saw the matrix, and that is what that rail was." (c) ddk about cypher

Agent trips over his own pineapple (c) ddk

"spart1e too late for the party here" (c) ddk

"what skils he needs to improve? his quake duelling" (c) twister

"he's not only russian.... he's also... agent" (c) ddk

"He just don't give a damn, yo." (c) zoot

Because if demon goes for the mega hes dad (c) ins

"Drugs... lots of drugs" (c) ddk

"there is a price and the price is death to pay." (c) ddk

"war of attrition" ;o

"ooohh" (c) Stermy <3

"this p0ni will not be tamed" (c) ddk

run to the hiiills, run for your liiiife (c) ddk

"av3k had agent on top of him" (c) ddk

yellowhealths (c) ddk

the evil portal of hell which he came from (c) ddk

that blue bubble of goodness (c) DDK

basically, ddk = $$$

he's cyphering the map right now... ©ins

that reminds me:
cypheresque (c) ddk

the only time i watch quakelive is when ash streams and i dont even speak russian

"How did that rail even hit" © Ins

"Twister is a lean mean fighting machine." (c) zoot

"Shut up now!" (c) Zoot

"Let's see if he will do what he will do" (c) ddk

butter (c) fraze

Sharp (c) Fraze

"on a roll" must be the most used empty fraze lately

if he says "butter" followed by "on a roll" I will retire from life

When did i even say butter!!!

"but err"

;p

Ahhhh I see hehehe

"Fight to live another day"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQvTyvVX_ys

"THAT WAS SO MUCH DAMAGE" (C) zoot+ddk pretty much all the time

"<player> will have to magicate something to get back into the match" (C) mexican guy

"He's gonna get it down" (c) Zoot

If you listen to the QuakeCon 2013 Duel Masters Final Fragmovie, he says it a couple of times.

"Yes, but no." (c) you know who

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YLqD_-9rUc

hilarious :)

What the hell? You bringing CoD into this? What the hell.

ah... no. fail

OMG I THOUGHT I BLOCKED YOU CMSS

"cmss disconnected" FUCK YES, I HATE THAT KID

(c) FunnyB

Lowsens faggot (c) UaLaskij

Oh.. :I

zis*

FTFY

i saw a spark fall out of laskijs mind (c) zoot

"Zanzan, just take advantage of this cock" (c) Zoot

oh my days (c) Zoto

Whenever zanzan is playing:

'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She' 'She'

- (c) zoot - (c) ins

Bloody lovely (c) zoot

ins, shut up (c) zoto

I want to flame nitrino some more, but it's getting tiresome. (c) zoot

Man, I am so glad VODs exist. Some of the shit these guys say is just priceless and I'm not saying that in a negative light at all. :D

Btw, this is a great vod for those that have not seen it! Some hilarious antics by cooller (vs. ash).

http://www.twitch.tv/zlive/b/512727290

edit: on a side note, how come zoot's stream and vods are always in such higher FPS than faceit's? I'm not mocking faceit but it is very noticeable, the difference in smoothness. =\

cuz faceit's stream config is shit

it hurts my spleen watching this (c) zoto

"...but he hits an erect rocket..." (c) ddk

"faming elos to 2k again" (c) zoot

Now he is out of control this is where he excels. (c) DDK every single time when cypher is out of control.

@2gd "shut the fuck up" (c) slasher

"dm furteen dm furteen dm furteen dm furteen dm furteen dm furteen dm furteen dm furteen dm furteen dm furteen" (c) 2gd

I'm going to go vomit now.

execution (c) ddk

hage pee (c) nvc

ATTAQUE (C) strenx

And naow, we musst aggress!

chessmate (c) Memento_Mori

Frothing at the gash (c) Zoot

'Ins you absolute muppet' - zoto

requesting vod of this

"cevo is a shitty league for shitties" - random cevo caster

quantify

"I can't watch him anymore." (c) ...

;)

tittinus (c) Zoto

Zoot: Hello cooller .
Cooller: Yes, thank you.
Zoot: How are you Cooller?
Cooller: Yes, thank you.

(c) zootlive

it feels like i'm rubbing a clitoris (c) Zoto

It feels like I'm rubbing a cliterus (c) zootlive

"railguns" -nvc

You mean "railgoons"!

"it was like a whack-a-mole and the mole was like...very very aggressive" (c) zoot

here have a plus teju :*

You can have a bunch of easy wins in return once I fix my mouse :D

"He is feeling himself right now" (c) ins

"easy peasy" (c) zoto

"evil knows things" (c) ddk

"frothing around the map" (c) ins

Yes. Yes! YES! Eat it strenx, you shittaaaaaahhhh (c) 2GD


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_d...4-HmU#t=24

"I mean, you know" (c) vor

"Dont judge a cover by its book" (c) strenx

"get the mega tony, no get the mega tony, get the mega tony, no GET IT GET THE MEGA TONY YES TONYYY got the mega........" 2gd
Edit: http://youtu.be/LRjFY84-HmU?t=47s

This is so funny!!!!

"I think evil probably had the favorable weapons for about 15 seconds and now that doesn't necessarily" (c) zoot

Many times when cooller was playing more.

But Coollers dodge, is SOOOO DAMMMMMMM GOOOOOOOOD!!!!! -Ins :)

"Fuck my fucking life -,- " - DDK

"until my father comes" (c) strenx

Can't believe nobody posted this yet.

"Gud jop" (c) enjoyka

shaft to lg, excellent combo

haha, who said this?

was either enjoyka or fear.

:D thats truly an excellent combo...

"slimk, your rails are hottt" -zoot
"damnit.. :(" -enJoY
"Cyber please.. I'm addicted to it.. I don't want it to end.." -zoot
"damnit.. :(" -enJoY

"in the end"

IT DOESN'T EVEN MAAAAAATTEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

"uh uh uh uh uhhhhh uh uh uhhh uh" -fnx
"ramble ramble ramble ramble why won't i stop talking about nothing ramble ramble ramble ramble" -enjoyka

you're pleasant

a shame none of the new casters are

btw, never criticizing anything =/= being pleasant, it just means you have no standards.

Can't help it that I have 12 hot ladies constantly pleasuring me while I cast.

Will tell them to cut it out.

btw, never criticizing anything =/= being pleasant, it just means you have no standards.

it sure does, but there are other ways of expressing oneself.

Never noticed this about fnx, also he's the best of the new casters (next to fear of course). How the others thought they'd be fit to cast is beyond me actually.

Jehar is not that new though..

"the nail in the coffin is real" -fear

Plasma RIFLE (c) noob casters from other fps games trying to cast Quake.

"tickle of lg" - zoot

meggerhealth

rapher

said every brit ever

jew(e)l

"a nice little rail there" (c) fnx
"nice little trap" (c) fnx
"nice little pop rocket" (c) fnx
"nice little read" (c) fnx
"nice little attack" (c) fnx

beautiful little fazz (c) fnx

"there is this little thing between my legs" (c) zoot

"don't quote this out of context" (c) zoot

"they kept themselves at a very short person's arm's length"
"carmack (?) goes nuts in the crowd I wish he'd shut up"
this game has it all: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcV968OnBGg

very off topic - but yet about awesome/hysteric casting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqYgAX6D43Q

ROFL that 2nd link

DANNYYYYYYYYY

HOW DOE DANNY HAA SIT DOWN WITH BAWLS DAT BIG

q50 had some pretty awesome vids back in the days

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
IMAGINE IF THOSE TWO GUYS CASTED QL!? :O

I'd watch it 24h/7 man!

"That just earned him a bucket of time" (c) Zoot

"ash are you absoluty nuts" (c) zoot and shpuld^s answere
"this can work out for him" (c) shpuld
ash vs pavel on bloodrun , FpsPulse Launch Event!
a really impressive game with 8 overtimes!

"We are sixty-nine-ing all of the place" (c) zoot

"silence-pee" (c) 2gd

"evil's gonna russian here" (c) Fnx

"and he beat him off to the mega" (c) ddk

"shoot everybody, it's like Columbine up in here" (c) Jehar

"He knows that war is coming." jar jar

"chunky rockets" (C) zoot