I go to Australia and what do I find? Tim-Tams. I've never heard of these things before. Some local woman there talks about them like everyone knows what Tim-Tams are. I go back to the States, I go to the store, and what do I find? Tim-Tams. It says right there on the package, 'Australia's favorite cookie'. Why do I spend 50 trillion hours on a plane, with people having strokes, just to get the same shit I could get here?

When I was there, in Australia, on like the last night, I found this great vodka. The guy at the store said it was the only vodka they imported from Russia. Better yet, it came from St. Petersburg. My ancestors come from St. Petersburg. Maybe i'm biologically biased, but this vodka was fucking delicious. Either I move to Australia, or hopefully the U.S. somehow convinces Russia to bring this incredible vodka here.